Many of the things Brittany says or does do not live up to a full blog post, so here I shall combine a few of them.
The first evidence I have to back up her statement that she is "the biggest nerd I will ever meet" is that she plays ARGs (alternate reality games). Tonight I have to take a picture of her standing outside a movie theatre at midnight holding an insignia with a candle burning within it.
Her friend Tim, one of the game night participants, is a single 30 year old guy who decided to have a vasectomy so he could enjoy his single days a bit more. Brittany informed me that all men with vasectomies set off the metal detectors in airports, and then when the wand indicates a beep where it inevitably will, they have to explain the circumstances. Wow- yet another occasion where a kernel of truth loses touch with reality. Certainly some men that get a vasectomy where a clip stops flow in the vas deferens and there are some metal clips available that can set off the detectors. But most of these surgeries, from a quick web survey, utilise titanium hemoclips which do not set off metal detectors. And these are just a small number of all vasectomies given. Most include the cutting of the vas with stitches or cauterization on the ends.
While doing laundry, Brittany praised me for cleaning out the lint trap saying, "Did you know that lint can be a leading cause of house fires?" I said yes, explained that I taught fire safety for a year to elementary school students, and added that the greater danger that is often ignored is the lint trapped in the dryer's plastic vent tube. (Aluminium tubing is much less likely to catch fire). Brittany ended the discussion, seemingly unaware that I was more knowledgeable than she with, "Well I just wanted to share; I'm full of random factoids like that."
Brittany bought a new iPod USB charging cable. I have no evidence that this is the case, but I fear she tried something like the onion in Gatorade charging method that is a hoax on YouTube. Sadly 5 million people have seen this clip, and some high fraction seem to believe, based upon other blog entries I've seen. Luckily some smart people out there have made spoofs that are pretty funny, including charging with an eggnog filled pepperoncini, a kitten, and a pumpkin. But it does seem sad that the skeptics don't even believe the truth about potato or lemon etc. batteries.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A Bad Birthday for Brittany
Brittany stayed in last weekend over her birthday, waiting for a male friend of hers to take her out. This guy, let's call him Mark, has been a true jerk to Brittany since she arrived in August. They had known each other for over a year via MySpace before she moved, coincidentally, to the same town he had his medical residency in. Although they speak on the phone more than ten hours a week, in six months they have yet to meet in person. But this is not Brittany's fault. Mark cancels, regularly, at the last minute. And every time he presents a plausible tale.
Well he promised to take her out to dinner on her birthday, a Friday, since he was supposed to get off work (more in a second on that) at 7 pm. At midnight he still had not left, so he promised to make it up to her on Saturday, when he was supposed to get off at 9 pm. At 10:30 he still hadn't off, and he never called, texted, or emailed to cancel entirely.
So Mark, though he is only a week older than Brittany, said he graduated college in 1 year and medical school in three so that he is currently a first year medical resident. Brittany has said she has spoken to nurses on nights he was on call and has received emails from a work email account, but I can find no list of residents with the hospital to check, and he doesn't have a medical license yet.
Anyway, here's his MySpace account: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=68831614
Any advice on how to find out the truth about him and why he has treated Brittany so shamefully?
Well he promised to take her out to dinner on her birthday, a Friday, since he was supposed to get off work (more in a second on that) at 7 pm. At midnight he still had not left, so he promised to make it up to her on Saturday, when he was supposed to get off at 9 pm. At 10:30 he still hadn't off, and he never called, texted, or emailed to cancel entirely.
So Mark, though he is only a week older than Brittany, said he graduated college in 1 year and medical school in three so that he is currently a first year medical resident. Brittany has said she has spoken to nurses on nights he was on call and has received emails from a work email account, but I can find no list of residents with the hospital to check, and he doesn't have a medical license yet.
Anyway, here's his MySpace account: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=68831614
Any advice on how to find out the truth about him and why he has treated Brittany so shamefully?
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Maybe I wrote too soon...........
On the same flight that Brittany took home bringing my passport she tried to take a bottle of water through security to the plane. She knew about the restrictions, she had her plastic baggy of travel size toiletries, but she still thought she could take a bottle of water.
To be fair, alot of seasoned travellers run into problems with the TSA restrictions. And they are ridiculous, as pointed out in a recent NYTimes blog.
To be fair, alot of seasoned travellers run into problems with the TSA restrictions. And they are ridiculous, as pointed out in a recent NYTimes blog.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Best of Brittany: Christmas Edition
As I have been writing this blog, I realized that, in the sake of entertainment and humorous release, it was a little unfair to Brittany. I have intended to extol some of Brittany's true virtues for a while, and the holiday season provides the right occasion, not only because of the spirit of the season, but also because the huge favor Brittany has just performed for me.
Brittany fills and empties the dishwasher far more often than she is responsible for doing.
She cleans the bathroom and kitchen without being asked.
She presents a smiling face with a story to tell when I get home late from work- which is so much better than coming home to darkness and silence.
But now for the occasions Brittany has saved me from my absent-mindedness:
1) Only two days after she moved in, I was going on a trip. But when I got to the airport I discovered that I had forgotten my cameras memory on my dresser. She drove it all the way to the airport at 7 am for me.
2) For Christmas my family is headed abroad, but I first drove 8 hours to my parents home: without my passport. I was able to call Brittany, and she'll bring my passport to her parents' house tomorrow, and then I can pick it up on Sunday.
I can't believe it never even entered my head that I would need my passport. My mother asked me for it so that she could make a photocopy! I don't want to be taken as a cruel hypocrite. I can tell the truth about my own failings and laugh at them.
Brittany is a sweet and caring person who has helped me in my times of stupidity.
Brittany fills and empties the dishwasher far more often than she is responsible for doing.
She cleans the bathroom and kitchen without being asked.
She presents a smiling face with a story to tell when I get home late from work- which is so much better than coming home to darkness and silence.
But now for the occasions Brittany has saved me from my absent-mindedness:
1) Only two days after she moved in, I was going on a trip. But when I got to the airport I discovered that I had forgotten my cameras memory on my dresser. She drove it all the way to the airport at 7 am for me.
2) For Christmas my family is headed abroad, but I first drove 8 hours to my parents home: without my passport. I was able to call Brittany, and she'll bring my passport to her parents' house tomorrow, and then I can pick it up on Sunday.
I can't believe it never even entered my head that I would need my passport. My mother asked me for it so that she could make a photocopy! I don't want to be taken as a cruel hypocrite. I can tell the truth about my own failings and laugh at them.
Brittany is a sweet and caring person who has helped me in my times of stupidity.
Love is Love
The following is an old post from another blog I have. It was a story that include Brittany at Halloween time.
This past Saturday night the local news came on with a story about invitations to a concert at Denison college having a noose on them while exhorting students to come to a Halloween event by saying, "Come hang with us". It all seemed a bit silly to get riled up over, but apparently multiple tolerance focused groups on the Denison campus took action, so the newscasters interviewed them. One student, the mohawked president of an anti-hate group was putting up signs in opposition; the signs were hand-drawn in pink marker and said "Love is Love" with hearts around them. I started to laugh and describe what was on TV to my roommate who was in the kitchen.
She didn't understand why I was laughing- and thought that the "Love is Love" message was a good one - and true!- no matter what.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
This past Saturday night the local news came on with a story about invitations to a concert at Denison college having a noose on them while exhorting students to come to a Halloween event by saying, "Come hang with us". It all seemed a bit silly to get riled up over, but apparently multiple tolerance focused groups on the Denison campus took action, so the newscasters interviewed them. One student, the mohawked president of an anti-hate group was putting up signs in opposition; the signs were hand-drawn in pink marker and said "Love is Love" with hearts around them. I started to laugh and describe what was on TV to my roommate who was in the kitchen.
She didn't understand why I was laughing- and thought that the "Love is Love" message was a good one - and true!- no matter what.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Monday, December 10, 2007
Best of Brittany: Game Night Edition
A few weekends ago Brittany had game night with 4 of her friends, me and two of my friends. I was a little worried because she had bought the board game version of "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?" and though I knew the answer for me, I wasn't sure about Brittany.
The game did not start off with a promising start, as Brittany couldn't understand the directions after she read them, so she made her own up. We answered a total of 19 questions, and here are seven that I was shocked that neither she nor her friends could answer:
Multiple choice, What is the capital of Canada: Quebec, Toronto, Ottawa
Brittany thought my friends and I were guessing when we said it was Ottawa, she couldn't imagine someone actually knowing.
What ocean is the Gulf Stream in?
Do Brittany and her friends understand anything that is in the media regarding global warming?
Multiple choice: What is the fastest land mammal: Cheetah, Jaguar, Tiger
Brittany didn't understand that you could reason out the answer based on the animals' habitat.
True or false: The Declaration of Independence was signed in Philadelphia.
Brittany thought it was New York. But why not Boston? or Charleston? or Washington D.C. :) ?
How many of the letters of the alphabet represent musical notes?
7=ABCDEFG is too hard, but I did like the ingenuity of Brittany's friend that added FACE and Every Good Boy Does Fine to get 9
True or false: Abolitionist John Brown was born a slave.
They had never heard of John Brown, not even African-American Regan. They didn't even think about the fact that he was likely to be white and thus not born a slave. They looked at me as if I were an alien as I told them about Burning Kansas and Harper's Ferry and the lyrics to "John Brown's body".
What formed the Great Lakes?
Glaciers didn't come to mind, not even for the three Ohio natives.
Once we decided this game was a bust, we started playing Clue. Which would have gone well had Brittany not put two weapons and no room in the solution set. C'est la vie.
The game did not start off with a promising start, as Brittany couldn't understand the directions after she read them, so she made her own up. We answered a total of 19 questions, and here are seven that I was shocked that neither she nor her friends could answer:
Multiple choice, What is the capital of Canada: Quebec, Toronto, Ottawa
Brittany thought my friends and I were guessing when we said it was Ottawa, she couldn't imagine someone actually knowing.
What ocean is the Gulf Stream in?
Do Brittany and her friends understand anything that is in the media regarding global warming?
Multiple choice: What is the fastest land mammal: Cheetah, Jaguar, Tiger
Brittany didn't understand that you could reason out the answer based on the animals' habitat.
True or false: The Declaration of Independence was signed in Philadelphia.
Brittany thought it was New York. But why not Boston? or Charleston? or Washington D.C. :) ?
How many of the letters of the alphabet represent musical notes?
7=ABCDEFG is too hard, but I did like the ingenuity of Brittany's friend that added FACE and Every Good Boy Does Fine to get 9
True or false: Abolitionist John Brown was born a slave.
They had never heard of John Brown, not even African-American Regan. They didn't even think about the fact that he was likely to be white and thus not born a slave. They looked at me as if I were an alien as I told them about Burning Kansas and Harper's Ferry and the lyrics to "John Brown's body".
What formed the Great Lakes?
Glaciers didn't come to mind, not even for the three Ohio natives.
Once we decided this game was a bust, we started playing Clue. Which would have gone well had Brittany not put two weapons and no room in the solution set. C'est la vie.
Best of Brittany: The Beginning
Brittany didn't know that you have to be careful with your delicates in the wash and she was surprised that her under-wire bras were breaking in the dryer.
Brittany will hire/bribe guy friends to put together bookshelves/desks/lamps for her.
Brittany describes herself as an Italian New Yorker, but has never heard of prosciutto (or mascarpone).
Brittany can't drive without her GPS system, unable to figure out that she needs to get on the highway going east to get to Easton.
Brittany believes guys that lie to her: about their ages, jobs, having children, being married and being in town.
Brittany cannot figure out why vegetables she bought two weeks ago and left in a plastic bag in the fridge went bad.
Brittany buys dishwasher tabs because it is too complicated to "measure out" powder or liquid detergent.
Brittany, who wants to be a social worker, turned down an internship since she would have to drive through bad neighborhoods.
Brittany was upset when she heated up a Kashi Fiesta Chicken microwave dinner to find out that there were black beans in it. The beans were in the picture on the cover of the box, and in the list of ingredients, but the description of the meal on the box said "chicken and cheese over spicy rice". Brittany hates beans.
Brittany came home one evening after being followed halfway there by a man she didn't know from the bar she was at, and asked if she could keep a gun in the house. When I said no, she remarked that the cat would probably find a way to kill her with it. She then changed her plan to keep a baseball bat under her bed. (She did already carry Mace.)
Brittany thought the November 2007 general election was the presidential primary -- she was volunteering for the Obama campaign all fall.
Brittany will hire/bribe guy friends to put together bookshelves/desks/lamps for her.
Brittany describes herself as an Italian New Yorker, but has never heard of prosciutto (or mascarpone).
Brittany can't drive without her GPS system, unable to figure out that she needs to get on the highway going east to get to Easton.
Brittany believes guys that lie to her: about their ages, jobs, having children, being married and being in town.
Brittany cannot figure out why vegetables she bought two weeks ago and left in a plastic bag in the fridge went bad.
Brittany buys dishwasher tabs because it is too complicated to "measure out" powder or liquid detergent.
Brittany, who wants to be a social worker, turned down an internship since she would have to drive through bad neighborhoods.
Brittany was upset when she heated up a Kashi Fiesta Chicken microwave dinner to find out that there were black beans in it. The beans were in the picture on the cover of the box, and in the list of ingredients, but the description of the meal on the box said "chicken and cheese over spicy rice". Brittany hates beans.
Brittany came home one evening after being followed halfway there by a man she didn't know from the bar she was at, and asked if she could keep a gun in the house. When I said no, she remarked that the cat would probably find a way to kill her with it. She then changed her plan to keep a baseball bat under her bed. (She did already carry Mace.)
Brittany thought the November 2007 general election was the presidential primary -- she was volunteering for the Obama campaign all fall.
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